The One and Onliest

Thank you! I’m glad people are enjoying it. And no worries—I don’t mind at all! I love talking about “Bones”. Which is why I’m going to not answer your question directly and instead take the long way around, jibber-jabbering about the show all the while.

“Bones” episodes I really like—“Aliens in a Spaceship,” of course. Everyone likes that one. “The Man in the Morgue” (which I really didn’t think I’d like when I first read the summary of it; but “Bones” has a knack for taking pretty touchy subjects and writing about them with a certain amount of sensitivity and charm). “The Woman in the Sand”. “Mummy in the Maze”. “The Knight on the Grid”. “The Verdict in the Story”. “Wannabe in the Weeds”. “Yanks in the UK”. “The Passenger in the Oven”. “The Princess in the Pear” (well, I just think Emily Deschanel is really pretty in her second scene), “The Double Death of the Dearly Departed”, “The Girl in the Mask” (which is pretty underrated, if you ask me; it had a cool music score). “Mayhem on a Cross”. “The End in the Beginning”. “The Plain in the Prodigy” (which I gradually grew to love). “The Dwarf in the Dirt”. “The Proof in the Pudding” (another episode I had initial misgivings about, but was relieved to find that I really enjoyed), “The Parts in the Sum of the Whole”. “The Boy with the Answer”. “The Maggots in the Meathead”. “The Killer in the Crosshairs”. “The Blackout in the Blizzard”. “The Doctor in the Photo”. “The Hole in the Heart”. “The Change in the Game”. “The Witch in the Wardrobe”. And if you’re wondering, yes, I did look through my DVDs just now.

(And as for episodes from season seven—I liked “The Suit on the Set”, I guess. I’m going to have to rewatch them at some point though.)

That’s a long list. Let’s just say that my favorite episode is “Aliens in a Spaceship”.

(And I hope you had a great day too. Mine didn’t involve being attacked by seagulls and/or zombies, so I can’t really say it was as shit-tastic as Booth’s.)

Well, in my spectacular painting I wanted to convey that life is sad sometimes—people die, beloved pets get run over, marriages end in divorce, and super-hot FBI agents have their families torn away from them by deranged psychopath nerds who look disturbingly like said agents’ twelve-year-old psychiatrists. It’s the human condition. But then things get happy again—people and beloved pets return from the dead as zombies, divorced couples are locked in closets by their children and are forced to admit that they still love each other and they remarry, and super-hot FBI agents and their teams of squints either prove that said psychopathic nerds framed said agents’ baby mamas or blow said psychopathic nerds up with hand grenades stuffed in Wheaties boxes. This is also a human condition or something, I don’t know.

The thing to remember is that even though Booth is sad now, and is eating pudding while bathing in a tub full of his own tears, when he finally gets Brennan back he’s going to be ridiculously happy, and then he can fill his bathtub with other bodily fluids. Everybody wins! (Except for Pellant. Sonofabitch is goin’ down, dammit. By the hammer of Angela Montenegro, he will die a thousand painful deaths.)

Anyway, thank you for recognizing my talents! I studied with the best art teacher that my elementary school had to offer. And even though I was ultimately kicked out of class because my mentor refused to accept that I followed the abstract expressionist style while she was vehemently pro-traditionalism, I harbor no ill will towards her, and had nothing to do with the fact that her house was fire-bombed soon thereafter. May she rest in peace.

Aw, thank you! Aw. Awwwwww…

(Firstly, I don’t mind you asking at all! I love to discuss “Bones”. And everything else, for that matter.)

How I personally feel about what went down…Well, okay. This might get complicated, but here goes. I think, as far as my personal feelings are concerned, it’s a question of being rational/logical and being…I don’t know, emotional, or humanistic or whatever. (In other words, it’s a classic, prime example of Brennan Thinking versus Booth thinking.)

Rationally, I can understand why Brennan made she decisions that she did, and thus I can’t really fault her on them. Everything she did was to protect the people she loved—keeping Christine with her and away from Pellant (and not risking that danger of Christine going through the same thing that she went through when her mom disappeared), not telling Booth about her plans to keep him as legally in-the-clear as possible (he’s already in a pretty bad situation as it is, and I don’t think he’s going back to his job anytime soon, but at least Pellant made it seem as though Booth had nothing to do with Brennan’s friend’s murder. Booth is no longer in the system officially, but he can still work it through certain channels), and going on the run in general (Max made a good argument about Pellant manipulating the system; I don’t agree with everything he said in that particular speech, but I agree that the alternative—for her to stay, be arrested and tried and possibly found guilty—was even less promising than running). Rationally it all makes sense. It’s probably what I would do in the same situation (you know, if an evil mastermind ever tries to ruin my life by using technology and The System to frame me for a murder I didn’t commit. Now at least I’ll have a good blueprint for what to do. Thanks, “Bones”!)

As someone who’s emotionally invested in the show’s characters, however…something doesn’t really sit well with me, and I’m not entirely sure what it is. Maybe it’s just the fact that this is a really shitty situation for everyone involved and no choice that Brennan makes is going to be a happy one. Everyone’s been damaged by this. Booth especially, and I personally hated it when Booth was literally left in the dust, without the family he’s wanted for so long (and only had for a relatively short time before all this shit went down—sad). I guess a part of me wishes that Brennan had done something more before leaving—more than just telling him that she wasn’t with him just because of the baby (I hated, hated, hated that stupid line—it was pandering to the people who completely disregarded the past six seasons and the fact that it’s obvious that they’ve been in love with one another the whole time and argued that they were only together because he got her pregnant).

But, I mean, even then (and all in all), I don’t personally dislike Brennan or her actions; I just dislike the situation. And even then, I understand that this has all been done to build up to a (hopefully) exciting premiere for season eight. If they do this realistically enough, it’s going to provide for a lot of conflict and angst, which viewers seem to love. I’m not a fan of angst either, but am (perhaps irrationally) optimistic that this unfortunate turn of events won’t last too long into season eight. That is to say, what I hope is that they resolve the Brennan is a Baby Bjorn-wearing Fugitive plot by the end of next season’s premiere, but that there’s still a little, teensy-weensy bit of fallout (because, come on, there has to be, right?), but that said fallout doesn’t make the show too depressing. (What I’d like, Mr. Hanson, is a time table. That’s what I want. When are our troops going to pull out of the Angsty Season Finale Cliffhanger? When will things be back to normal?)

But in all honesty, I think I’ve just decided to take it as it comes, or whatever. They didn’t kill off Booth or Brennan (or Caroline!), they didn’t have them break up, they didn’t decide to move the show to Hawaii and have the pair become life guard vampires. So I’m more or less okay with whatever they do.

So those are my very muddled and inarticulate feelings about Brennan’s decision. I hope you’re having a good day too! I hope your heart doesn’t hurt too much.