Ugh, it’s so hot, my insides are melting.

Seriously, I hate summer. Well, no, strike that—I hate summer without central air conditioning. I want to fill a bathtub with ice and lie in it all day.

I don’t have enough ice, unfortunately.

This is the time when I want to live in Sweden or Norway or Alaska (and so on). When the summer average is, what, 70 degrees? And if I went there and it was, say, 85 degrees, everyone would be broiling and I’d be like, “What? This? This is great! You don’t know what heat is!” and then they’d be like, “Holy shit, she’s not even sweating! She must be superhuman!” And then they’d make me their god.

But as it is, I’m stuck here, without air conditioning, with all the normals. Drat.