June 2013
“Male privilege is “I have a boyfriend” being the only thing that can actually stop someone from hitting on you because they respect another male-bodied person more than they respect your rejection/lack of interest.”
—
The Sociological Cinema
There was actually research that was done that found that women who used an “I have a boyfriend/husband” excuse to reject unwanted sexual attention and harassment by their bosses were more likely to be left alone than those who used any other excuse (including “I’m not interested”)
America, Botswana, Hungary, Hutt River, Russia, Zimbabwe?
Cool, thank you!
- America (What is your favorite place to eat?): There aren’t a lot of places that I can go around here—there’s a vegan pizzeria that’s pretty good, when they get my order right. In my folks’ town, however, there’s a Persian place that’s amazing. I will most likely frequent it many times next month.
- Botswana (Do you like to sing? Why or why not?): I don’t sing when I’m around other people, but when I’m by myself, I sing a lot. I wouldn’t consider myself good by any means though.
- Hungary (Who is the person I trust most?): I have no idea. Probably my mom, because it seems as though whenever I don’t take her advice, she’ll inevitably turn out to be right. But, I mean, even then—it’s hard to trust a person implicitly. And it’s probably not very smart to do so, anyway.
- Hutt River (What is the most memorable dream or nightmare you’ve ever had?): You mean besides the Steve Martin-Gilda Radner one? I don’t know; I tend to forget dreams pretty quickly. There was one I had when I was pretty young—my sister, grandmother and I were at this lake in the military base we used to live on, and I was standing by the side and I could see all these dead people under the water, trying to pull me under. And they got my grandmother and my sister and I ran away to a nearby airplane, and flew away. I generally try to forget dreams and nightmares, because they’re never very pleasant.
- Russia (Have you ever suffered from low self-esteem? Do you still?): My self-esteem is non-existent. I basically consider myself a piece of shit that I have to put up with until I die.
- Zimbabwe (Who is your favorite character from any folklore?): I don’t know if he counts, since he actually existed but is sort of a folk hero now, but probably Musashi Miyamoto, from Japanese folklore. And I always liked Ivan Tsarevich, from the Russian Firebird folk tale. Who else…I like Sir Lancelot. There was a time I was really into Arthurian legends and liked Lancelot the most.
This one seems like the most interesting one I've seen. Would you?
- America: What is your favourite place to eat?
- Australia: Do you have any quirks when speaking?
- Austria: What kind of person do you wish to be?
- Belarus: Is there anyone you love? Family, friends, romantic interest?
- Belgium: What do you think of your siblings?
- Botswana: Do you like to sing? Why or why not?
- Bulgaria: Who do you consider close to you?
- Cameroon: Describe your culture.
- Canada: Favourite wintertime activity?
- China: What was the best moment of your life?
- Cuba: What sort of grudges do you hold if any?
- Cyprus: What hands-on activities do you like (drawing, carving, building, etc.)?
- Denmark: Do you wish for something of your past?
- Egypt: Do you stand up for what you believe in? How?
- England: Are you controlling?
- Estonia: Do you think people often misunderstand you?
- Finland: What do you prefer, kindness, sternness, or apathy?
- France: How do you show love for those you care for?
- Germania: What is the hardest thing you have ever had to do?
- Germany: Do you have a hard time forgiving yourself?
- Ghana: What is our favourite sport?
- Greece: Do you let other help you when in need?
- Hungary: Who is the person you trust most?
- Hutt River: What is the most memorable dream or nightmare you have had?
- Hong Kong: Do you fear death?
- Iceland: Do you hide your real personality? Why?
- India: How important is family to you?
- Japan: Tell us a secret about yourself.
- Kenya: What is your favourite wild animal?
- Korea: What is one thing you accomplished by yourself?
- Kugelmugel: Is there anyone you have a love-hate relationship with?
- Latvia: Do you believe you are brave?
- Ladonia: What is the internet site you visit most often?
- Liechtenstein: How do people underestimate you most often?
- Lithuania: Do you desire power?
- Macau: What is your favourite festival or celebration?
- Molossia: Do you consider yourself strong?
- Monaco: Do you think you are a lucky person?
- New Zealand: Would you rather be an elf, dwarf, Hobbit, or wizard?
- North Italy: What is your least favourite part of your personality?
- Norway: What was the most disappointing time in your life?
- Netherlands: Most generous thing someone has done for you?
- Poland: Hardest thing you have gone through?
- Prussia: Would you prefer to live forever or die alone?
- Roman Empire: How would you like to be remembered?
- Romania: What is something you are very ashamed of?
- Russia: Have you ever suffered from low self esteem? Do you still?
- Sealand: Who is your best friend?
- Seborga: What is your favourite beverage?
- Seychelles: How do you handle people being rude to you?
- South Italy: What is your favourite part of your personality?
- Spain: What would you tell to the person or people you hurt most if you had a second chance?
- Sweden: Are you a leader, follower, or independent?
- Switzerland: Would you consider yourself evil, good, or neutral?
- Thailand: How good is your poker face?
- Tibet: What do you value most?
- Taiwan: What do you think of the people or person who raised you?
- Turkey: Would you ever want children?
- Uganda: How would you like others to see you?
- Ukraine: What is one thing that has made you stronger in life?
- Vietnam: What is something you are proud of about yourself?
- Wy: What kind of art do you like?
- Zimbabwe: Who is your favourite character from any folklore?
“I think The Strokes and Julian Casablancas are really in the legacy of great bands. And The Strokes, to me, are as good as The Velvet Underground.”
—Hear the robots behind Daft Punk share the inspirations behind Random Access Memories (via nprmusic)
So I had this dream last night, that I was watching a movie starring Steve Martin and Gilda Radner that was made back in the late seventies. And in my dream I LOVED this movie (despite the fact that, in reality, it doesn’t exist) so I knew what was going to happen ahead of time (which is fortunate, because it doesn’t exist and I didn’t get to “watch” it all before I woke up).
Anyway, the movie was about this group of…sort of slow people (eccentric, maybe even mentally-challenged, I guess, but functional) who live together in a halfway house-ish place. One of them is Gilda Radner, who is her usual, Gilda Radner sort of character (childlike, hilarious, etc.) and I think another might’ve been Madeline Kahn, who was pretty uninhibited and flirty. Anyway, there were about four or five of them, split evenly between men and women (I want to say that one of them was an old character actor from the thirties/forties; again, it’s a dream, it didn’t exactly make sense.)
So all of them travel in a van and go to Disney World, and then, on the way back, they stop at a deli owned by Steve Martin. And he’s sort of a quiet, shy, reticent dude, and of course Gilda falls in love with him at first sight. And he’s just sort of like, “What are all these crazy people doing in my deli?” because they’ve all sort of latched onto him and won’t leave. And he’s very nice to them and actually grows to kind of like them—and then his estranged wife comes in and sort of shooes them out (and Gilda is sad to find that he’s married, so she leads the retreat).
Steve Martin’s wife is one of those movie characters who married below her means and wants to live above her means, and she tries to get Steve involved in this not-exactly-legal scheme that involves raffle tickets or something. And of course he gets caught and is arrested for grifting.
So on his way to the courthouse (which he’s walking to, because you can do that in my dream, apparently) the van full of eccentric people see him and stop and sort of take him for a joy ride before his trial. And they go to a petting zoo and to New York and Vermont (again, it’s a dream) and Gilda is in love with him and he sort of falls on love with her despite the fact that she’s loopy. And he just has a good time in general, herding these cats.
At one point, at the petting zoo, they meet Harvey Keitel, who lives next door to the petting zoo and is this really belligerent guy who wears home-made armor and carries around a shotgun. He falls in love with Madeline Kahn and sort of is adopted into the group, although I never got to that point in the dream. For the most part, he’s just yelling at the group to leave the petting zoo and waving his shotgun around.
The group takes Steve Martin back to the courthouse, where I think he just gets a slap on the wrist or whatever the legal equivalent is for a first-time grifter. And he goes back to his deli. When everyone visits him some time later, it seems as though his wife is still with him and is back to controlling his life, although in reality he’s just about to kick her to the curb, and he doesn’t want the group to come around anymore because he feels like a loser not worthy of friends, and wants to let them down easy, so he lets them think he’s gone back to life as usual, with his wife. Which breaks Gilda’s heart, and it’s sad.
And then I woke up. This isn’t the sort of movie that doesn’t have a sad ending, so ultimately Steve and Gilda get together, but I don’t know the specifics. When I woke up I genuinely believed that this was a real movie, and was thinking that I totally had to find it, before gradually realizing that Steve Martin and Gilda Radner never made a movie together. But it felt real, and was very in depth, and I wanted to write it down before I forgot the details, which tends to happen with dreams. So yeah, that’s it, that’s my movie dream. I’d watch it if it were real, man.
